This is a post I have been meaning to write for months. I find it fascinating that in many Latin American cultures where the machismo culture is infamous. Catcalls are a normal way of life for women. Women are assumed the weaker sex -but because of this, women are let on or off of buses first. Men step out of a woman's way when the sidewalk, hold open doors and are generally courteous- when they aren't whistling.
That doesn't happen in Rwanda. Women are never given the right of way or that preferential treatment. But they also aren't treated as equals. And despite the high percentage of women in parliament and the advance of women in general here, sexual harassment and rape are still prominent in work places.
To further illustrate my point, on Friday night I was at a local restaurant/bar/dance club watching the England match. After the dance party started and it was crazy. It was very crowded but very fun. The bar is popular with expats and rich Rwandese so it was a fun mix and I was having a great time.
About 2am I went to the restroom and the 3 stalls are down a little hall, first the men's and then the 2 ladies. As I passed the men's a Rwandese guy standing by the wall kissed me. So I hit him on the shoulder, hard.
He asked why I hit him an I said because he kissed me and doesn't know me. And if he did again, I said I'd break his jaw. Then he tried to deny kissing me. And told me he wouldn't have anyway because I am very ugly. All the while with a smirk on his face. I was furious.
About this time a girl and her 2 friends come out of a stall and she wants to know why I hit her cousin. So I told her and she wants to fight me. I ducked past the attendant into the other stall. I heard the girl then ask her cousin if he had and I think the response was she's American and was asking for it.
I was so mad and felt so violated. It seemed a perfect example of the typical attitude of many men here. She's a She. She's American. She really wants me. So disgusting.
That is so so disgusting that a stranger could come close to you, but even worse, force himself to kiss you. I am male, and "worse" from that part of the world. There is that nusty assuption on the part of men that mostly females have to bow down to their wishes, although of course there are descent men who would love to see things change. I hope we get to a point where many women become more empowered and assertive and have the courage to hit unwelcome intruders. I just thought about the Maranyundo and many other girls growing up in such envoronment! kind of sickens anyways. I also hope that "Idiot" does not spoil the image of other self respecting men in Rwanda. Yeah, you will meet some crap in the every corner of the world, but you're right some corners have "craps" than others! Have fun wherever you and please, it them, and probably save another potential victim !
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